"Each face you see has a story behind it, that is, the lives and stories of their ancestors. Experiences of the family are etched in our smiles and reflected in our eyes. As people stand in front of you, be in human kind. They witness your story, too." Sanna Carapellotti
Have you wondered if family events can control your life?
Traumas, Troubling Events, Tragedy, Deaths, Separations
Famlies inherit events and traumas, or the expression of unresolved issues. Events, personalities and patterns within every family system transfer in varying ways into the succeeding generations. Family experiences subconsciously repeat themselves, as if they are 'inherited' like eye color. What is suppressed in one generation will be expressed in the next, i.e., traumatic deaths, financial failure, criminal behavior, success, lifestyles, and especially, those who have been rejected.
Do you hear yourself saying --
- "The women in our family are depressed," and you are depressed.
- "I drink like my father," and you have a drinking problem.
- "I am fat like Mom, my sisters, aunts and grandmother!" And you are overweight.
- "I can't make money. My dad was a failure." and you can't get ahead.
- "I can't change this pattern. I'm stuck in this pain," and you don't know why.
Family bonding, i.e., loyalty, and the need to be a part of the collective system, is more powerful than you realize and even before birth we are fated to bond within the system. We might reject our families and then not realize how this decision to distance or emotionally separate influences our current life, thereby, creating conflict and struggles. We stay connected or 'loyal' through addictions, anxieties, depression, illness or tempormant, following patterns and the negative qualities of family we have never even met. We are fated to be a part of this evolving family system because we are born into it. This also occurs within our respective culture.
Every family member has a unique role within their respective family that is conscious and unconscious. Even at the deepest levels of consciousness, we are making life decisions, commitments and choices, that profoundly influences how we love and live. We often carry, or hold, our mother's pain or our grandfather's failures.
Bert Hellinger, a world renown Psychotherapist, observed this movement, or expression, from a perspective relatively unobserved in Western Medicine and culture, thereby, revealing the impact of the family subconscious. The therapeutic approach he designed, known as Hellinger Sciencia, has dramatically effected changes in individuals and their families, even when the family members are not present in the session. His work is well presented in his books and professional articles, and his (and my) testimonials speak loud and clear.
Hellinger's work reveals an order of love that begin with this premise- Everyone born into a family belongs to the family, and they deserve to be 'seen' and must be recognized. This includes those who were cast out for any reason, i.e., criminal behavior, institutionalized due to a handicap, a jerk or cut out for nonconformity. Maybe they died prematurely or at birth. In his 50 plus years of work, Hellinger observed future generations, his clients, who unconsciously live similarly to dismissed family members. In other words, they behave like, or do something that calls attention to the respective individual.
Trauma, premature deaths, mental disabilities, money issues, famine and virtually any life struggle lives within the family system and, especially when it is ignored, the unresolved conflict or pain releases into the preceeding generations. It is ignored because it is too difficult, too painful or very embarassing. With existing personal and collective resources, families respond in the best way they can, although not always the healthiest and most loving. There are always consequences, some realized and some unknown, to this consciousness, or bleed, as I refer to it.
How I work using Hellinger Constellations
After a 9 month training intensive and additional course work, I have integrated this methodlogy into my private sessions with great success. Solo (1-1) family energetic mapping can be applied to illness, abuse, obesity/weight issues, depression, struggles, money issues - any life challenge. I have a special interest in eating issues and have created a dynamic system, The Family Table, to help clients with long standing eating issues resulting from dinner time trauma or conflict of childhood.
We are all born into a family energy system and in order to thrive and live fully we must acknowledge the existing family system, as is. We can secure a new role and make personal adjustments with our family members, even though other family members are not present.
Love is fluid and has many vibrational qualities from abuse to the highest love, which is purely unconditional. Even infants in utero adapt to environments where love is scarce, however, not without consequence. These ways of loving form psychological patterns that can last a life time and are never connected to the source.
Our souls honor with great reverence our respective family systems. The patterns and energies flow from generation to generation until one member says, "I want a new order of love." (Bert Hellinger)
The question is - "How do I separate self while holding the integrity of the family, or what happened behind me?" Do this work with Sanna!